I woke up last night to the strangest noise—the rolling of what sounded like a ball, followed by a thump. I lay there for a minute, just listening: roll, roll, THUMP. Roll, roll, THUMP. I poked Monty.
“Do you hear that?” I said.
“No. What?”
“I don’t know. It almost sounds like . . . bowling.”
“Right. Bowling.” He rolled over and went back to sleep.
I got up and came out to the living room. The first thing I noticed was that the boys weren’t there. The second thing I noticed was that the noise was coming from the basement. I tiptoed down the stairs, and as I did, Mackin tiptoed past me in the opposite direction. At the bottom of the stairs, I peeked around the corner. Seamus was rolling a golf ball to Carrick, who rolled it a little further and then swatted it up onto some storage boxes. Then Carrick jumped up onto the boxes and knocked the ball down, rolling it back to Seamus. Seamus rolled it back, Carrick swatted it up, and back and forth they went: roll, roll, THUMP.
They noticed me watching them but didn’t stop their game. I wasn’t sure what to think–they weren’t being naughty as far as I could tell. For once, they were playing together and not wreaking havoc on the house or each other. So I told them to keep being nice boys, and I went back to bed. Monty stirred and said, “What was it?”
“The boys were golfing in the basement.”
“Golfing. . . okay,” he mumbled, almost asleep again already.
This morning I asked Seamus and Carrick what they were doing last night. They answered, in the form of song parodies.
“Yesterday”
– written by Paul McCartney and performed by the Beatles;
new lyrics by Seamus Falcon Phillips
Yesterday
we had a tree up and a place to play
Now the tree is gone and packed away—
Oh, how I long for yesterday.
Suddenly
I don’t have a minute just for me—
Carrick’s bored without the Christmas tree
Oh, why won’t he just let me be?
Why’d the tree have to go?
I don’t know; Mom wouldn’t say.
But now I have no peace;
How I long for yesterday!
Yesterday
Carrick mostly stayed so far away
Now he’s in my business night and day—
Oh, how I long for yesterday!
Why can’t he play alone?
I don’t know; he won’t go away.
Why won’t he follow Mackin
like he did in olden days?
Yesterday
I didn’t have to keep him entertained
Now I must golf with him or hide away
Oh how I need a holiday.
“Thank God I’m a Country Boy”
– written by John Martin Sommers and performed by John Denver;
new lyrics by Carrick Fergus Phillips
Well, life at our house wasn’t fun anymore—
the tree disappeared, and I got really bored.
I fought with Seamus ‘til Mommy said “No more!
Behave like a nice Phillips boy!”
Well, I rarely get in trouble ‘cause I turn on the charm
and I never did Seamus any real kind of harm
But Mommy must have thought there was cause for alarm—
I guess I’ll be a nice Phillips boy!
‘Cause I got me a fun dad; a treat-tossin’ mother
I get to play all day with my two big brothers
My life’s pretty great; I wouldn’t want any other—
Thank God I’m a Phillips boy!
Well, the tree may be gone, but I’ve found other fun—
I sneak attack my brothers then I turn around and run!
I may be outmanned but I’m never outgunned—
Thank God I’m a Phillips boy!
Well, I play all day and can’t wait for night;
I invented a golf game that Seamus REALLY likes!
I may be half his size but I beat him every time—
Thank God I’m a Phillips boy!
‘Cause I got me a fun dad; a treat-tossin’ mother
I get to play all day with my two big brothers
My life’s pretty great; I wouldn’t want any other—
Thank God I’m a Phillips boy!
“After dark, all cats are leopards.”Zuni Proverb
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Comments 10
Hello Sparrow, I enjoyed this creative, amusing, sensitive piece of writing. Monty sounds like me. Debbie will “nudge” me during the night, asking,”Hal, dud you hear that.”. I would grunt,no, and fall back to “dreamland”. But, Sparrow your “investigative “ nature, you had to search for ,”the noise”. You4 Cats, very ceative, as most Cats are. Cat “miniature golf”. You close with 2 of my f@vorite tunes/lyrics. “Yesterday”, great song, by Mr. McCartney, And “Thank God”, by John Denver, another great lyrical customer and performer. As I have said before, your Cats enjoy all the “great classics” Keep your creative juices” flowing !Sparrow..LoveYa, TexGen
TexGen–So Debbie has the same struggle I have! 😊 I didn’t think of my boys’ game as miniature golf–that’s an excellent name for it. I’m glad you liked the songs. John Denver is my all-time favorite singer. Thank you for your kind words. Love to you. ❤
What a happy and fun read! It’s just the thing I needed this morning! You never cease to amaze me with. your creativity! Keep it up — PLEASE! “A treat tossing mother” is just the best!
Thank you! I’ll always keep it up. For you, especially. ❤
Oh how I needed to laugh!! I visualized golfing in the basement and The Beatles accompanying Seamus!!! Obviously, The Beatles are the choir and all the fame goes to Seamus!!! I believe Carrick is the most well behaved cat in the world and that’s why he is a Phillips boy!!! Oh how I enjoyed reading about their adventures!!! Happy New Year!! INFINITE BLESSINGS 🙏🏼🤗❤️🐾🐾🐈
Estela–oh, how I needed to hear from you tonight! Seamus is very pleased that you see him as being accompanied by the Beatles while he enjoys the fame. And Carrick thanks you for seeing that he really TRIES to be a well-behaved boy. 😊We all wish you the happiest of new years and send love and blessings your way. ❤
You are so imaginative!! Love it!! Thanks for the laughs tonight!! Love you!!
The boys and I thank you! You are now Carrick’s favorite person ever because he finally found a quilt he likes–I have tried so many different blankets, and he refuses to sit on any of them. I set your quilt down for a minute, and there he stayed. Still stays. I keep telling him that I’m going to hang it up. He just snuggles deeper. Anyway, thank you for such happy words. I love you, too.
Kids will be kids and cats will be cats, take away their tree look out for anything I mean anything goes, you are in for some interesting times a head tell they get their tree back. Golf in the middle of the night that’s just for starters (ha, ha). Just be sure to keep us posted, this is going to be fun.
Fun post great job❤️❤️❤️
Grover
Oh no–I better not be in for it ’til they get their tree back! They’re so spoiled; I’d probably put it back up if we had room to leave it up permanently. 😊 I will keep you posted. Thank you for your kind words, dear Grover. ❤