Adventures in Blogging

It’s been three years since I started my Poetic Blessings blog. Over those three years, I’ve met some amazing people, written countless words, and learned many lessons. These are the most important ones I’ve learned:

God will fulfill the plans He has for you. (Jer. 29:11) I knew from the time I could hold a pencil that I would be a writer—I loved words and putting them together made me happier than almost anything else. But when I was twenty-seven, the depression and anxiety that had tormented me my whole life became too much for me to handle, and I fell headlong into an abyss of substance abuse. For ten years I wrote nothing—I had nothing to say and no one to say it to. When I got clean and sober, I assumed that the floodgates of words would open, and writing would once again be effortless. Instead, I spent hours staring at a blank screen, listening to the voice that told me I had no business writing—who would ever want to hear from someone like me? But one day, I looked at the recovery book I was reading and realized that it had been written by and about people like me. And nearly one hundred years after its publication, it’s still being read all over the world and offering hope to its readers. With that in mind, I sat down at my computer and began to write. And I haven’t stopped. God’s plan for me was to share my story through writing, and He is fulfilling that plan for me every day.

God makes everything beautiful in His time. (Ecc. 3:11) God didn’t fulfill His plan for me on my timetable. And for years, I didn’t know why. In recovery, I found the answer. Step twelve of recovery is to carry the message of hope to others who are struggling. During all those years when I couldn’t write, God was preparing me for the time when I could. He was giving me a message I didn’t have before—a message that was intensely personal because it had been given to me when I was in desperate need of it. When I think back to the shell of a person I was then—someone whose eyes were empty, whose heart was broken, and who didn’t believe that I would ever find joy again—I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to have been led to a program that offers hope and help to even the most broken. Whether you’re new to recovery or you’re experiencing a rock bottom time in your life, know that there is hope, joy, and beauty to be found if you look up, ask for help, and start accepting the help God gives you. That’s the message I carry to you, along with this: God can use you, no matter how broken you think you are. If you give Him your broken pieces and trust His plan and His timing, He’ll use you for His glory.

There’s a place for everyone in this world. If you can’t find a place where you fit, make one. I read many blogs before I started mine, and I got so discouraged that I almost decided not to do it. The other blogs I read featured magazine worthy homes. They were about fashion, DIY projects, and “mom life.” If our home were going to be featured in a magazine, I would need about a year to get it ready—to put away the ever-multiplying stacks of books, repaint our quirky colored furniture, and undertake the mission of getting rid of mountains of cat hair. If I were to write about fashion, it would be one very short piece of advice: wear your pajamas as much as possible and let the cat hair stick where it may. As far as “mom life,” I respect those of you who have that, but I don’t. I realized that if I was going to do this with any measure of joy, I’d have to be true to myself. So I created Poetic Blessings. And in this corner of the world, I fit. I’ve found others who appreciate the same things I do—endless cat pictures. Cat thoughts. Bird thoughts. Poems. Song parodies. Random musings. Even the occasional piece of hip hop.

There is purpose in pain and beauty in brokenness. If I hadn’t experienced the deepest darkness of depression and the absolute brokenness of addiction, I wouldn’t be able to write about it with any real understanding. When I admit to feeling broken or say that I’m in pain, it’s because I’ve learned that more hearts are touched by honest vulnerability than pretend perfection. I’m not writing to you from the Promised Land, where I’ve figured out life’s answers and now spend my days splashing around in free-flowing milk and honey. I’m writing to you from the trenches of daily life, fighting right along with you for beauty and hope and purpose as I share what I learn along the way.

Gratitude changes everything. I started a gratitude journal eight years ago when I got clean and sober, and that attitude of gratitude absolutely changed my life as I spent my days looking for blessings rather than burdens. My blog has been on my gratitude list countless times: I’m grateful for the people I’ve met through it. For the place it’s given me to share what I love. And I’m so very grateful to each and every one of who has been a part of it. Whether you’ve been on this journey with me for three weeks or three years, know that I’m grateful for you—for every like, every comment, and every minute you spend with me. Thank you for making Poetic Blessings a blessing to me.

He got clean and sober when I did. These lyrics are his way of carrying the message—and so is the joy on his face after years of battling his demons and finally finding peace.