There’s a time for angst. A time to pull your favorite blanket up around your shoulders and sit by the window watching the rain while a single tear trails down your cheek and Sarah McLachlan sings in the background, setting the perfect mood for your misery.
And angst is necessary sometimes—really sitting with our emotions and feeling the deepness of them. For a moment or a day or two. The problem is when we make a habit of misery—when we get up every single morning, say to ourselves, “Oh! I forgot! I’m supposed to be miserable. “ And we wrap ourselves in our daily uniform of heavy sadness, snuggling up in our comfortable old blanket of misery. That blanket gets heavy—fast. And it might be a familiar companion, but every time you choose to drape it around your shoulders, it gets heavier and weighs you further and further down. Misery as a way of life is exhausting.
I’m prone to this—my nature tends towards the melancholy. I brood. I ruminate. I start to feel like a rain cloud is following me around, about a foot above my head, just waiting to open and dump buckets of water on me. And before I know it, I’m miserable—all the time. I don’t even realize sometimes how weighed down I’m getting until I want to get up, and the blanket of habitual misery drags me back down.
My husband isn’t like this. When Monty starts to feel misery creeping in, he pushes it away. He always chooses laughter. He watches “America’s Funniest Videos.” He looks for funny cat videos on YouTube. His sure-fire cure for misery? He dances to “Single Ladies” in full on Beyonce mode. His near-perfect execution of the steps makes him laugh. Every time. And it makes me laugh, too. All we have to hear is that one opening note, and we’re both up—dancing and laughing.
In the movie “One True Thing,” Meryl Streep’s character tells her daughter: “It’s so much easier to be happy, my love. It’s so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, and you have so much, instead of always yearning for what you’re missing, or what it is you’re imagining you’re missing. It’s so much more peaceful.”
And it is. Much easier and more peaceful. Not at first–misery is a hard habit to break. But choosing to be happy, minute by minute, can become a habit, too. The first step is to shed the blanket of sadness. The second step is to leave it on the floor of your metaphorical closet and not put its weight back on your shoulders. The third step? I can help you with that. Play this video. Turn it up. And go full on Beyonce. You won’t be able to do it without laughing. I promise.
“Stay close to anything that makes you glad
you are alive.”Hafiz
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Sparrow, I choose love. Love yourself first. Love all you see, Love the one(s) you are with. Each of us hav3 a choice each day we awake. We can look at being negative, We can watch the News, there is so much depressing crap on the news. But, we can “straighten our backs”, look forward and Upward. I don’t have all the answers,l just try to follow this recipe. Pray everyday, sometimes, we don’t get an instant answer. But, “by keeping the faith”, we will find peace. We all hold the keys to our being content, happy. Good blog Sparrow, it hit my heart, and my words just “flowed”
See ya, keep on blogging, FF. TexGen❤️
Thank you for this post. All so true and spot on! I would Just Love to see that dance… What’s it gonna take, Monty?? 🕺🏼
He says I would have to catch him unawares and get a video. Challenge accepted.
Renee, I love this post! I need to hear this! I can make myself miserable and then everything all of a sudden is also very miserable. I love the quote from the movie “One True Thing” “It’s so much easier to be happy, my love. It’s so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, and you have so much, instead of always yearning for what you’re missing, or what it is you’re imagining you’re missing.” Thank you for writing this. I really do need to hear this! I have been struggling with not being content with my life and my job. I was to the point that I was making myself sick. I did not like my job, wanted a new job, wanted a family of my own like all my siblings have. I was not content and then I had that interview and eventually did not get the job. That kind of snapped me out of my stupor and I realized that what I have is the best that God had for me at this point in my life. Thank you for sharing this. I need to be reminded of this often. ❤️
Melanie–I understand that feeling of discontent and longing. It’s so hard to take what we know in our minds–that God wants the best for us–and actually feel it in our hearts. Thank you for sharing your story. I messaged you on the rest of my thoughts. ❤