Can you find redemption while sitting in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Conference Center? I did.
I was there a few weeks ago with Monty, my brother Adam, his wife Brenda, and their son. We’d all gone to Salt Lake City and had spent the day sight-seeing. After going out for Chinese food, we went to the LDS Conference Center to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir rehearse. Sitting between my husband and my brother as we listened to the choir, I thought about the journey that had led us to that moment. After years of shutting my brother out of my life because of my struggles with addiction, I have him back in my life. I have the privilege of truly knowing my nephew and how wonderfully unique he is. And my sister-in-law is not just my brother’s wife—she has become my friend.
I already had tears in my eyes, but then the choir began to sing Monty’s favorite song, “What a Wonderful World.” I looked at Monty, and he took my hand as the tears fell. He knew, as he always does, what I was thinking and how deeply grateful I was for that moment—that moment of redemption for all the years we’d lost. And I said to myself, “What a wonderful world.”
Earlier that day, we’d all gone to an organ concert at the Salt Lake Tabernacle. Getting there was a bit of an ordeal, with all the one-way streets and no available parking spaces. Monty dropped me off outside the Tabernacle so that I could meet Adam and Brenda while he found a place to park. Sitting there waiting for him, I started writing the poem posted below. I finished it later that night at the hotel.
Signals
– Renee Adele Phillips
You’re driving us through a city where we’ve never been,
commenting on the traffic:
“I think we’re driving in circles,
like the time we went to the Broncos game. Remember?”
I do. I remember the hotel room that night. What you said.
“Stop. Again. We’re hitting every red light,” you say as you drive.
But I hear the echo of your words from that night:
“Stop. Stop using. Stop running from me.”
I asked you back then to go. To let go. To let me go.
“I can’t go,” you say now.
“No right turns on red here. We missed it.”
No. We didn’t. We took one right turn back then:
I stopped. Because you stayed.
“We might be stuck at this light forever,” you say
as you take my hand.
I want forever.
Just hold my hand like this and stay.
Stay.
Stay.
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Comments 14
Your words always fit like a glove. 💜
Thank you. And yours always bless me so much. ❤
Renee, Your writings always inspire me and bring a few tears. You’re a blessing. Keep writing.
Oh, Cheri, thank you! What a blessing you were to me today. I will keep writing as long as people like you keep reading.
Love how you write about redemption. Love the memories of a wonderful time. Love the song. Love the poem. I love you!
I’ll forever stay and hold your hand. Always.
Oh, my Monty. You are the only one that ever leaves me without words. Except this–thank you. For staying and loving through all of it and now–we get to have the beautiful times. I love you.
Renee,
Your writings are always beautiful ‘word-art.’ We can find God anywhere, even in a church!! 🙂 Thanks for being so wise and sharing your learnings with us. This is a sign of great leadership.
Jim H
Jim–I so appreciate you taking the time to read my words. Sharing the lessons God teaches me is my calling. I love the phrase “word-art”–thank you for that beautiful description.
I was hoping for a blog post and this is most wonderful! I am so blessed by your poetry. Thank you for sharing that and for the pictures and the song! It’s all a precious gift to me today.
Oh, what a precious gift you’ve given me! Thank you for the perfect words in the perfect moment.
Beautiful!
Thank you so much.
Renee, I just love this poem! It has such meaning and I love to see it through your writing! God has blessed you with a wonderful husband in Monty and he stayed by your side even in hard times. He was your constant when your world was so out of control. He didn’t let you go and I am so grateful for that. God knew you needed that kind of companion and He brought both of you through some hard times and now you are on the other side. You get to enjoy life and the precious relationships in your life. God has given you a second chance and you are getting to enjoy all the blessings He has given you! So proud of you and I love getting to see your beautiful life and the things you enjoy and love. I love you, my precious friend! ❤️
Thank you, Melanie, for such a beautiful description of who Monty has been and is to me. And thank you for seeing my heart in my words. I appreciate you so very much. Love you back. ❤