To the tune of “The Brady Bunch” theme song:
“Here’s the story, of a boy named Monty
Who moved here from the east when he was eight
He was cute but also shy and very quiet—
Much like his classmate named Renee.
Renee felt very different and quite awkward
And wondered why her life was without friends
She thought Monty seemed like such a nice boy,
But she was too shy to talk to him.
Then at sixteen, when they sat in a Datsun,
Hoping Monty could teach Renee to drive
Driving lessons flew right out the window
As friendship turned to love before their eyes.
The Phillips tribe, the Phillips tribe—
That’s the way we became the Phillips tribe.”
And there you have it. Our story—well, the highlights of our early story, anyway. I thought about our story the other night as Monty and I were singing through his music for the worship team he sings on at church. One of the songs was “Nobody Loves Me Like You” by Chris Tomlin. We found the song on YouTube and started singing along with it. These words are at the beginning of the song:
“I could’ve had a really different story
But You came down from heaven to restore me
Forever saved my life
Nobody loves me like You love me, Jesus
I stand in awe of Your amazing ways.”
I got so choked up on those words that I couldn’t sing the rest of it. Sitting with Monty, holding his hand, I kept thinking of that line, “I could’ve had a really different story.” I know I could have. My story almost ended the same way many addicts’ stories do. But it didn’t. That line also made me think of all the other ways I could have had a really different story:
If my parents hadn’t raised my siblings and me in a loving, Christian home and taught us about Jesus.
If my parents hadn’t read to us and taught us the value of reading, writing, and learning.
If Monty’s parents hadn’t decided to move from Maryland to Colorado when he was eight.
If Monty hadn’t transferred into my third grade class because the original school his parents applied for was full.
If my parents hadn’t asked Monty to teach me to drive when I turned sixteen.
If I hadn’t realized, on those countless driving lessons, that for the first time in my life, I could be completely, unapologetically myself.
If I hadn’t looked at Monty while we were laughing one day in the park, and thought, “I’m in love with my best friend.”
If Monty hadn’t realized he felt the same for me.
If we had broken up when Monty went to Baylor and I stayed behind to go to Colorado State.
If we hadn’t gotten married.
If we hadn’t rescued our cat Ricky, who years later rescued me when I overdosed—licking me and stepping on me repeatedly until I roused myself enough to crawl to Monty for help.
If I hadn’t gotten to Monty in time.
If Monty hadn’t stayed with me.
If I hadn’t found recovery and got clean and sober.
If we hadn’t moved to this little town on the prairie.
If I hadn’t been given this second chance at a new life with Monty and my family.
If just one of those things had changed, I would have had a very different story. Instead, I have a story of mistakes, shame, forgiveness, and restoration. More and more, I see the theme of my story, standing out in clear white light against a backdrop of darkness: faithful love. Monty loved me enough to stay with me in the dark years, never doubting that we’d someday get to the other side.
And here we are, on the other side, living the life we always hoped we’d get to live. Laughing without a background of tears. Talking about the future without thinking, we’ll never have a future, so what’s the point of making plans? Living in serenity without the constant threat of chaos. Being close to each other in a way we would not have been if our story had been different. Living in this place of beauty, where I can clearly see how much Monty loves me, in a staggeringly generous way that I don’t deserve. If Monty can love me that way, how much more must my God?
Thank God I didn’t have a different story. Every chapter and verse led me here—to this place of faithfulness and love.
A Really Different Story
– “Great is Thy Faithfulness” by Thomas Chisholm with additional lyrics by Renee Adele Phillips
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
You have been the only perfect constant in my life.
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
You have always been exactly who You say You are—
Thou changest not,
You are the same Jesus I met in Sunday school,
Thy compassions, they fail not
the same Father who loved me back to life when death seemed so close.
As Thou hast been
You were, then and now, faithful to me.
Thou forever wilt be.
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
The sunshine and snowfalls, the cherry blossoms and yellow leaves,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
the stars have always pointed me to look up to You—
Join with all nature in manifold witness
Every bit of beauty speaks Your name
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
and tells me You love me, more than I know.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
I’m so grateful; I drop to my knees when I remember
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
that You were at my side in every step I took.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
If not for You, I would have had a very different story;
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Instead, I am forgiven, loved, and blessed beyond measure.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
I can trace Your hand through my whole life—
Great is Thy faithfulness!
my heart’s refrain is You—only You.
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
One day at a time, You grant me the grace I need;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
You have far surpassed my needs and colored my life with beauty—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Great is Your faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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Comments 10
Another beautiful post from the heart!! You are one amazing woman!!
Oh, Lynette–thank you! You made my day. Thank you for taking the time to read my words. ❤
Renee as I read your post I am so reminded how important it is to stick to your wedding vows and support each other when the going gets really tough, that’s the test of a real marriage. No matter how hard marriage is sometimes, it’s God’s will that you stay together and you support each other, then your love for each other will grow . God didn’t promise life would be easy, but we do grow from our trials, and that’s what happens in marriage you grow stronger with each trial.
You and Monty are so blessed how many couples meet in grade school and end up married. You guys have something that so many people will never know in their life. I know after being married all these years I am only half a person when I am not with my wife, you just became so intertwined it is unbelievable, what a blessing, that’s God’s plan at work in our marriages, as you think about in were would you be without each other, scares me, my life was headed in the wrong direction when I meet my wife, God works miracles and marriage is one of them, if you let Him in your life and marriage. You and Monty are proof of that!
Love,
Grover
Grover, this is just so beautiful. I couldn’t agree with you more that marriages grow stronger with each trial. Stronger and better. It’s funny–I never realized how unusual it is that Monty and I met so young until I started writing about it. And the more I write about it, the more I realize how incredible that was–and what proof of God working in our young lives. Intertwined is a great word; it’s hard to remember my life before Monty. I love this, that you said, “God works miracles and marriage is one of them.” So much truth there. Thank you to you and Jean for being another story of love and commitment that Monty and I can look up to. Love to you.
Renee, I love you and your posts. I’m thankful you have Christian parents and you and Monty were brought up knowing God. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” PTL that his plans were to bring you and Monty together.
Cheri–thank you so much! I had planned to put that verse at the bottom of this post and completely forgot. How amazing that you thought of it, too, and now it’s on the bottom of my post after all. Thank you! And yes, praise the Lord that God’s plan was to bring Monty and me together. I’m more grateful for that than I can ever say.
It’s amazing to see the “what could have beens” written out like you did. So true and so clear to me to see how God guided us along this journey to where we are today.
I also love you collaboration with the departed poem. You are so talented! When you wrote those, it gives me new perspective on those songs and it makes the words of those songs even more meaningful!
“Love you then, love you still, always have, always will”
Monty–you are the best parts of my story. You say that I’m talented, but remember that without you, none of this would be possible. I’d have words stashed in computer files, not on a blog. Thank you for that. SHMILY.
Good morning, Sparrow. What a wonderful love story, you and Monty. Monty has been there, your “Rock”, along with the Lord. Life does have many paths, we always have the choice to choose. You. Hitting your deepest moments, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Thank God for the Christian home and principals your parents brought you up in. Restoration, a matter of timing and faith. Monty, And God were there for you at the right time. Most of us go through life, “flying blind”, I know I fell into that category myself. My years between age 21 and 35: going through relationships, friendships ,marriages, “flying blind”. Then, Debbie came in to my life, now almostv40 years later, she and I strong together, having gone throug( the “highs and lows”, of raising 2 children, but both of us, remaining strong together. It is not only Debbje and I, but God is “present”, God is the “ultimate” Father, Director, Healer. Yes, there are still times of “dark thoughts”,:but with God, Debbie, I am able to “right the ship”,stay “on course”. “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”, Yes, Sparrow, You, Me, many others have been “restored”, We are pardoneD for our sins. Praise God. There is “timing for everything”, in receiving God’s Love, and in “meeting the special people in life. You, Monty. Me, Debbie. Another thoughtful, powerful blog,,Sparrow. Your writ8b*, creative limits, are “endless “. Thank you, Keep On blogging. TexGen
TexGen–I like your choice of words–“flying blind.” Thanks to my parents, I had a pretty good navigation system in place. Too bad I didn’t always use it. But if I hadn’t had Monty in my life….it’s unthinkable. Like you and Debbie. God gives us the people we need. I like what you said, too, about righting the ship and staying on course. Great metaphors! We are restored and pardoned–thank God. Thank you for yet another thoughtful comment. I so appreciate you and your encouragement.