Here Comes the . . .

Dear Renee,

Today is December 10, 2018.  You’ve already chosen a word to be your guide for 2019.  You’ve already set your goals—which is very uncharacteristic of you, since you tend to be a procrastinator.  But not this year.  You’re chomping at the bit and ready to charge ahead into the New Year.  I’m writing this to you, my future self, because I want you to accomplish your goals this year.  I want you to make progress every day on those goals.  And I know you—when your momentum flags and the purpose behind your goals becomes hazy, you’re going to find it very hard to stay motivated.  You’ll be tempted to quit.  You’ll talk yourself out of the daily work that is required to meet your goals.  You’ll make excuses.  And slowly, you’ll slip out of the healthy habits you worked to create.  Suddenly, it will be December 2019, and you’ll realize that you made a little progress but fell fall far short of what you envisioned for yourself today.

I don’t want that for you.  I want you to look back on this year as a pivotal, paradigm shifting year in your life.  So I’m writing this to you to remind you of that.  When February comes and the shiny newness of your goals wears off, I want you to read this.  In spring and summer, when you tire of pressing forward because this December day feels like the distant past, read this.  And in September, when you’re feeling down because you don’t seem to be making any progress, read this.

Read this and remember why you made your goals in the first place:

• You want to live your life to the fullest.
• You want to feel good enough to live the life God asks of you.
• You want to feel emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically healthy. The healthier you are in these areas, the more you’ll be able to accomplish.
• You desire major, lasting change, not little bits of progress in fits and starts.
• You want to shift from crisis management and living in survival mode to having a daily routine that fulfills you and enables you to handle crises when they come. You want to thrive in the days of your life, not just survive them.

Read this to remind yourself of your focus.  If there are people or things in your life that not only aren’t helping you to keep that focus but are distracting you from it, eliminate them.  Say no to anything and anyone that isn’t supporting your desire for change.

Read this when you’re tired and feel like giving up.  Remind yourself of the motivation you feel today.  And choose to believe that you’re worth fighting for—that you are worthy of the hard work it will take, day in and day out, to accomplish your goals and finally change the aspects of your life that you’ve wanted to change for years.  Fight for yourself, Renee.

Read this when you get discouraged by what you see as a lack of progress.  You might not see progress from day to day.  You might work as hard as you can and still see no results.  When you feel this way, look back to the day you started and see how far you actually have come.  Progress is cumulative—hold on for the long haul and stop wishing for immediate gratification.

Read this when you catch yourself making excuses like these:

• I don’t need to try today. One day doesn’t make any difference in the long run, anyway.    One day of progress leads to the next day and the next and the next.  One day of slacking off often leads to more and more days of not trying—until suddenly you realize that you’ve wasted weeks and months making excuses.
• I’m not a disciplined person. I can’t really expect myself to adhere to a daily routine.  Also not true.  You are capable of extreme discipline when you choose to be, when you believe it really matters.  You got clean and sober and have stayed that way for years.  That’s discipline.  You’ve never missed a deadline for writing.  That’s discipline.  So care about your goals as much as you do about sobriety and writing.  And you’ll find the discipline you need.
• I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard, and I’m just not capable.  The truth is that you don’t have to be capable.  God is.  He has carried you through countless moments of panic when you said, “I can’t.”  Trust Him to do that again.  You’re ready and willing—He is able.  You may have an occasional day when pain prevents you from completing your daily routine.  And on those days, “can’t” is the right word—give yourself grace and rest.  But on all of the other days, “can’t” is a misnomer.  You can.  What you’re actually saying is “I can, but I don’t want to.”

In February.  In summer.  On a day you feel tired and weak.  Keep going.  Keep fighting.  Keep pushing.  When you encounter resistance, push harder.  When you feel like the odds are stacked against you, fight harder.  And think of how it will feel a year from now when you’ve kept going and fighting and pushing, no matter what.  Think of the progress you will have made.  Think of the song by P.O.D. called “Boom” that you like so much—you’ve always liked the line, “Is that all you’ve got?”  Ask yourself that question when you think you can’t keep fighting.  Is that all you’ve got?  No?  Then push on; give it all you’ve got.  And next December, you’ll have the unparalleled joy of being able to say the other lyrics: “Here comes the BOOM.  How you like me now?”

With faith in your future efforts, I am, of course, yours—

Renee