My intent in writing this isn’t to be controversial. Every word in this post comes from my heart—and my heart beats with love for my country.
I look at Monty next to me on our couch, sitting with two cats in his lap, holding my hand as we watch the news. We see a story about an abused dog, and he nearly tears up, his gentle heart hurting, as it always does, for defenseless creatures. Monty is the kindest person I’ve ever known—and I’m not the only one who says that. When people think of Monty, they smile. They use words like “nice” “kind” and “gentle” to describe him. Monty’s mission in life is to serve others; nothing fulfills him more than helping someone. He’s a man of integrity and strength, who genuinely loves his neighbor as himself.
When the next news story begins, my stomach turns over. A group of white supremacists is marching, carrying signs with anti-Semitic slogans and swastikas on them. I squeeze Monty’s hand as we watch. Monty is Jewish. His mother has Jewish ancestry that has been traced back for centuries. She converted to Christianity when she married Monty’s father. Monty, too, is a Christian, but his Jewish ethnicity makes him a target of hate. And I cannot fathom why.
Most people who know Monty don’t know he’s Jewish. It breaks my heart to write this, but there have been incidents where people have changed their minds about Monty after finding out that he’s Jewish. He’s had people say derogative, ignorant statements to him, once they found out. I saw a woman who knew him well physically recoil from him, shrieking, “You’re Jewish?!” when it was mentioned in her presence. I said something about his Jewish heritage once on Facebook, and both of us were unfriended by several people the same day. Why? Monty is the same good, kind person, whether you know he’s Jewish or not. His character is the same. His attributes are the same. His heart is the same.
Both of our hearts broke when we watched the coverage of the shooting that happened on Saturday in Pittsburgh: a man ran into a synagogue shouting, “All Jews must die!” before killing eleven Jews who were there to worship and pray. Eleven people with the same blood as Monty’s. 11. I look at Monty and I see that number. I close my eyes and I see that number. In my mind, the 11 twists and melts into a swastika—a symbol of incomprehensible hate.
According to Jonathan Greenblatt, the CEO and national director of the Anti-Defamation League, acts of anti-Semitism increased 57% between 2016 and 2017—the biggest spike since 1979. With the midterm elections so close, Greenblatt says that anti-Semitism on social media is reaching a “fever pitch.” Part of the reason for this, says Greenblatt, is that nearly a dozen candidates currently running for office are white supremacists or tied to extremist hate groups. I read that, and again I see the number 11. 11 Jews killed. Nearly a dozen white supremacists running for office. This isn’t a coincidence.
And it isn’t just anti-Semitism. A Pandora’s box of hate has been flung wide open in the past two years: all hate crimes are on the rise. Hate has become a common part of our rhetoric. Again, I don’t believe this is a coincidence. It may not be a direct cause-and-effect, but there is a definite correlation between our current political climate and the rise of hate. People who may have hidden their hate prior to the election in 2016 have been emboldened by those who hold political office because they assume that those officials feel the same hate that they feel. So they freely and loudly express their racist, sexist, and homophobic views; some go beyond expressing ideas to committing acts of violence. Let me be clear—I’m not saying that everyone who voted for certain candidates in 2016 is a hater with extremist views. I’m saying that we know more now than we knew then.
What are we doing to stop the hate? We see it. We read about it. We shake our heads, post comments on social media, and pause for a minute to grieve when a tragedy like the one in Pittsburgh happens. Sometimes we muster a public outcry and offer our condolences, but then most of us settle back into silence—the silence that enables haters to destroy everything about us that is uniquely and beautifully American. We are a nation built on different races, religions, and beliefs. We support each other when there’s a natural disaster or a humanitarian crisis. We raise money, offer resources, and stand on the front lines of disaster to help—we make a deliberate choice to love our neighbors.
I believe that we are still that America. We’re still a nation whose first inclination is to love. But we’re dangerously close to losing that. If we want to conserve the values of America for ourselves and future generations, we can’t allow the hate to continue. We can’t stand around wringing our hands helplessly, saying, “But what can I do?” If history has taught us anything, it’s that hate thrives when people are silent and don’t speak out against it. This is still the land of the free. We’re free to vote—which is both a privilege and an enormous responsibility. And now that we know more than we did in 2016, we can use that knowledge to carefully choose how we vote. We have to ensure that the people we vote for don’t support hate. We have to think about every single issue from the perspective of love versus hate: immigration. Health care. Education. These are issues that concern us and our neighbors—our fellow Americans, our fellow human beings. With every one of the candidates and issues we consider on our ballots, we should ask ourselves: am I voting for love or hate?
America is still the home of the brave. And I believe we’re brave enough to shatter the silence and love loudly enough to drown out the hate. We can do that when we vote. We can exercise our right to protest, peacefully. We can use whatever individual platforms we have to proclaim that we will no longer tolerate hate. That’s what I’m trying to do—here at my computer, in my pajamas, using the very small platform I have. I’m risking controversy. Disagreement. And anger. Those are tiny, tiny risks in this big picture. But for me, they’re a start. I’m starting by using my voice to spread love and to plead with anyone reading this to do the same—not for some vague idea of the greater good. But for all of the people like Monty whose hearts beat the same as mine. I believe love still trumps hate. And I believe the star spangled banner yet waves. For all of us.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
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Comments 17
Thank you for the kind words you said about me! My mom was a great example to me and I hope in some small way, my actions and behavior a re a reflection of her.
I love this post and agree with everything you said! I am proud of you for “risking a movement without being sure” and for your courage to so eloquently write and stand for what is right. I love you!
Oh, Monty–they weren’t kind words. They were the truest words. You are so, so much like your mom and I thank God for that every day. She would be so proud of who you’ve become. I love you. ❤
I’m glad for what Grover mentioned, that the Jewish people are God’s chosen people, and I’m glad to know that they will always have a place in His plans. Those plans are given in Scripture, and the one who encourages peoples’ hatred toward the Jews is spelled out there, too. Satan has tried so many times to destroy God’s chosen nation, but as Grover also mentioned, God continues to protect Israel, and He will do so unto the very end, though Israel will go through more hard times. May we, as a nation, be found supporting God’s program and His people (all of His people — the Jews, and all who believe on Jesus).
Heather–What a comfort it is to know that God is sovereign and still holds all of our countries in His hands. I agree with you–may we support and love ALL of God’s people. Thank you for reading my words.
Dear Renee,
Thank you for your blog! I, too, am very close to the Jewish community. My daughter married a Jewish man and converted to Orthodox Jewish faith. They have two children, 15 and 17, and live in New Jersey. The tragedy in Pittsburgh could have been at their place of worship. God chose the Jewish people as His chosen people and blessed all of us though them! God bless Monty and his sweet wife for these heartfelt words!
Blessings,
Sharon
Sharon–oh, that must have been so hard for you to watch the coverage of the tragedy in Pittsburgh. I think all of us watched and thought “If it could happen there, why not here?” And it’s scary. I didn’t know about your daughter and grandchildren; I see now why this would be as close to your heart as it is to mine. Thank you for reading my words. I’ll be sure to pass them on to Monty, as well. ❤
Your words have stirred up so many emotions. Like my cousin, Mary, I have been in a group where someone told an antisemetic joke. Many, myself included, believe that being Jewish not only refers to religion but ethnicity as well. That being said, even though my sister, Janet, and I converted to Christianity, we were/are still considered Jewish. Since Mary so eloquently stated the same feelings I have on this matter, I’ll just add my sincere thank you for writing this.
Aunt Phyllis–I felt like I had to write this after what happened in Pittsburgh. And then I read that the NYPD was putting security at synagogues and other Jewish places–shivers just go up my spine when I see these things. I truly didn’t want to bring up the rise of the Nazi party and how it slowly spread over the course of years–but I feel like a person would have to be blind not to see the parallels. Monty has some questions about yours and his mother’s conversions. I think he’s planning to Message you on FB. We know so little about Janet’s past. Thank you for reading this and hearing my heart. I’m so proud that you and Monty are my family by marriage. ❤
Aunt Phyllis – It’s been fun reconnecting with you and learning more about your’s and mom’s past. I want to keep learning more about you and mom and Grandma and Grandpa too! Someone the other day asked if I remember being at a Seder, but unfortunately, I don’t think I ever have been. I bet you have some mempries about them though!
I had a laugh a few weeks ago in church when the pastor was reading a verse about the Gentiles and Jews and said how obviously we are all Gentiles here, but… I wanted to say “Speak for yourself, but I’m not a Gentile.” 🙂
But seriously, as Renee wrote, it is sad that people get judged simply by their ethnicity, race, etc. I grow weary of the hate and anger lately.
Thank you for writing this, Renee. As you know, Janet was my first cousin, so I am one of Monty’s Jewish relatives. As a Jew with a non-Jewish name, I am occasionally in a group where it is assumed that there are no Jews present, and where someone tells an antisemitic joke. When it first happened, I was too dumbfounded to respond. In addition to the outright bigotry that Monty has experienced, there is also an unfortunately widespread undercurrent of casual bigotry among people who really should know better. I hope that efforts like yours will help us all to confront our prejudices and to act and speak with love for all humanity.
Mary–like you, I was dumbfounded the first time this happened when I was with Monty. Like you, I didn’t know how to respond either–I was just so shocked. I think, as you said, that people make assumptions about Monty’s last name, which is non-Jewish like yours. The casual bigotry you talked about scares me the most because it’s just assimilated as truth. Even when the stereotypes aren’t negative, it’s still a prejudicial way of thinking. I’ve had several people who know Monty say, “No wonder he’s smart.” Or “I guess we know who manages the money in your house.” That’s not okay, either. But most people aren’t aware that they’re even doing it. I’ve tried to understand the hate and I can’t–I think I’m trying to make sense out of nonsense. The silver lining is that it’s made me so much more sensitive to others who are treated with prejudice and hate–the LGBTQ community, other races, different religions, the differently abled–I pray that tolerance, acceptance, and love can grow as people get to know each other as people, not labels. Thank you so much for reading, and for your comment.
Mary – good point about the undercurrent of casual bigotry among people. I understand what you mean about being dumbfounded the first time it happened to you. I just don’t get how people can think that way. It’s been fun learning more about my Jewish side of the family and I definitely want to learn more! I need to pick your brain and thoughts sometime!
Monty, I would be delighted to share information with you and Renee about my father’s side of the family. Sarah, your grandmother, was his sister. Contact me via email at maryhuffstevenson@gmail.com or via phone at 617-306-5588.
Sparrow, good morning. Pardon m e, but I personally have two words, forhatred, bigotry, anti semitism, all discrimination, Hate Sucks! What is the matter with any person who feels a kindness and gentleness fir their fellow man. Whether their neighbor is Christian, Jewish, or any other the other religions practiced here in our great country, Folks this is why we have waged war, to fight oppression, bigotry, and all the rest of the prejudices e face, and continue to face. What were tHese Jewishleople doing in theirSynagoge inPittsburgh, simply cibducting a religious service. What sort of prejudice and Hare does it take to “gun them down”. When we all pass from this earth, and “meet our maker”, I do not believe we have to “pass a racial, test. All who believe, we will be accepted. Everyday, wecanstart doing things fir other human beings,regardless f age, sex,race, religion. This is a pretty simple task, that Jesus has and down, Why don’t we get it, Kindness, gentleness, you do feel much better inside yourself. We need to all get rid of our ‘reservoir of hatred”. It is hard to do, with commentators, from the Let and right, putting out their brand of hate either it be a subtle “pitch”, or ‘in your face”. Friends what are we afraid if, being kind to a Black, a Jew , animals, and others who are ‘not like we are”. We have nothing to fear, “Let’s stop it. It takes Everyone, to take the “step of kindness, forgiveness”, but we can do it, If you are having trouble getting rid of this, Read the Bible, pray, meditate. In the name of God, “People Put a Little Love in Your Heart. “. We can do this, one by one, and this feeling will grow among us all. Renee, thank you for your Blog. It is not controversial, it is pure from your heart, Love and compassion, and common sense what you are writing, I am Blessed to read it, thank Yiu fir letting me put my thoughts in to words, ❤️TexGen
TexGen–whenever I wonder if there’s still good left in this world, you write something beautiful like this. You’re right–battles have been fought for freedom. People have come here for freedom. And it’s why I’m so proud to be an American. I like your phrase “reservoir of hatred.” It saddens me to think how deep that reservoir is in the hearts of some people. And thank you for the reminder of “Put a Little Love in Your Heart.” Thank you for hearing my heart as you always do. I’m blessed to have you as such a faithful reader and friend.
Oh dear Renee I feel the same I am watching our country destroy itself from within. Believe me the riots about Vietnam were worse than this, four students killed at a Kent State University, the Chicago riots at the Democratic convention and so on. History proves the students were right we had no business in Vietnam. This time is different there is so much hate that is coming from so many places. I hope as time goes on hearts will mend, but given as dark and selfish as mans heart is I don’t have a lot of hope. I pray every day for this country, I love this country and I have served it and don’t want it to be destroyed. This is the most free country on this earth but there are people both in and outside the country that for selfish reasons want to destroy it, so sad. You know what 9/11 taught us this country can come together when the stuff hits the fan, and that day will come again when something horrific will happen and we will pull together again so there is hope! We just can try to be the best people we can and give it all to Jesus!
I so understand how Monty is being treated, I grew up with a lot Jewish kids and have seen the hurt they face. I don’t understand we’re that hate comes from. You know we all bleed red blood and breath the same air, just wish the world could get over this stuff. That had to be very hard for Monty’s mom to become Christian that is real commitment to Jesus. I could write all night about the good friends and goods times I have with Jewish friends, especially in the service. You know people just don’t get it the Jewish people are God’s chosen people, need proof look at a map Israel little bitty Israel kicks the Arbs all over the map and try as they might they can’t run Israel into sea. After WWII Isreal was born out of nothing there’s your sign.
We all need to pray for this country that this hate will heal and some how mans heart will change!
Grover
Author
Grover–thank you for hearing my heart on this. I’ve always been grateful that I didn’t have to experience the turbulence of the sixties and early seventies–so much violence. Yet here we are again. Yes, we are a free country. How sad, as you said, that people choose to use that freedom to spread hate. You’re also right about 9/11–we all pulled together to help each other. I wish so much that we could always do that, not just when we experience tragedy. I didn’t ever think about any of this from a veteran’s point of view–thank you for your insight on that. I can imagine how it must grieve you to watch our country this way when you served it. Thank you for your perspective. I know Monty will appreciate it, too. ❤