Long before I started this blog, I named it Poetic Blessings. I had no idea when I started blogging how apt that name would be. My concept of the name is on the home page of my website: I pray you find something beautiful, something poetic—something that blesses you. I didn’t know when I wrote that that I would be the one who’s been blessed by the poetry of beauty again and again as I’ve been on this journey. 
I didn’t know how much more beauty God had in store for me because of this simple blog. Yet over this past year of sharing my writing, God has surprised me countless times. These are just three of those surprises:
The response I received. I started blogging with a vague idea of the direction I wanted to take. I never intended to write about addiction and alcoholism, except for a short description of that part of my life in the section on my website called “Recovery.” My years of substance abuse were the source of my greatest shame; not even my family knew the entire truth about those years. Yet time after time, God directed me to write about addiction and recovery. He showed me how to use the source of my greatest shame to tell others about the source of my greatest hope—my God-given recovery. So I bared my soul about those “wasted” years—and I was shocked that not one person who read those words judged me. Instead, I was given love, understanding, and encouragement. I was also surprised to find that the more honest and vulnerable I was, the more I was able to connect with others—others who had struggles of their own. Vulnerability tears down the walls of pretend perfection that we all hide behind. And once those walls are down, the beauty of honest sharing begins.
The importance of purpose. There’s an episode of “I Love Lucy“ called “The Inferiority Complex.” Lucy decides that she’s inferior to everyone else because she can’t tell jokes, she puts too much salt on Ricky’s eggs, and she burns his toast. Feeling depressed, she goes back to bed. Ricky comes into the bedroom and says, “I thought we settled this on the phone. I thought you were going to get up.” Lucy responds, “Well, I was going to. Then I asked myself why, and there I had me.” I love this line—not just because it makes me laugh—but also because it rings so true to me. For years, I’d wake up, ask myself what the point of getting out of bed was—and, like Lucy, there I had me. I didn’t think I had any reason to get up. And when I finally did get up, it was only to survive another day, not thrive in it. I learned in recovery that the difference between surviving and thriving is purpose. When I learned that, I was at a point in my life where I had to invent a purpose for myself—and at first, the purpose was very small: our cats were waiting for treats; Mom would worry if I didn’t respond to her email; I needed to find a new book to read. Those small purposes gave me reasons to get out of bed, and they evolved into a bigger purpose: I found my way back to writing, which had been my passion as far back as I could remember. When I began to share my writing through my blog, I discovered a purpose that lit up my soul. For the first time in years, I was excited to get out of bed—to write, to be with the boys and Monty—every new gift God gave me was the impetus I needed to start truly living my life.
The beauty of friendship. This has been by far the biggest surprise of my blogging journey. Until I met the people in my recovery group, I’d never had friends. And I was fine with that. I’m a complete introvert; I thought that Monty was the only friend I needed. Then God showed me through my recovery group that friends are an incredibly important part of life—they keep you accountable, make you laugh, and understand why you cry. When I started blogging, God tore down every last wall I had that kept me isolated and alone. Because of my blog, I’ve “met” many people on Facebook—people in recovery, people who have become my prayer warriors, and family members that I’ve had the joy of reconnecting with, from cousins to aunts and uncles. I’ve even gotten to know my parents, sisters, and brother in new ways.
As they read my blog, they began to understand me and the reasons I’d been so absent from their lives–I was able to write the story that I couldn’t tell them. As they read my story, they learned about me; in their responses, I learned about them. Now, they’re my most treasured friends. But God pushed me further still—way out of my recovery and family friendship comfort zone. He introduced me to a wise, sensitive, Godly woman who I instantly recognized as a kindred spirit. We live in different countries and have completely different lives, yet we have become dear friends. She makes me laugh, she challenges me, and her zest for life inspires me. She instinctively understands me, and I, her. When I look back over my gratitude journal of this past year, she’s on almost every page. I, who never had nor wanted friends, now have a precious friend who I love dearly: Surprise!
After about a year in recovery, I thought that life couldn’t possibly get more beautiful. I was wrong. I dreamed too small. I prayed too small. God had so much more planned for me than I could ever have imagined for myself. In this past year, He turned my life into one long surprise party—and those surprises have made my life so beautiful that it almost hurts. Psalm 16:11 perfectly captures the essence of this past year and of each new day when I get out of bed: “You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending, and I know true joy and contentment.”
Risk and Reward
-Renee Adele Phillips
No man is an island, they say—
no woman, either, for that matter.
Yet we move amongst others, pleasant but separate.
Not islands, per se, but peninsulas at best—
insulated as we are against the risk of being known.
Until one person takes the risk
makes the overture
wakes the sleeping heart—
and a friendship is born.
As we share burdens and celebrate joys;
as our most earnest prayers join and are lifted together,
our souls unite, recognizing in each other a kindred spirit.
Iron sharpens iron:
our dull, ineffective lives are forever changed
as we sharpen our edges against each other,
restoring our purpose and polishing our reflection of God’s glory.
“Where two or more are gathered,”
God is.
We are sharpened. We are loved.
No longer islands—alone, at sea—
we are bound by holy fellowship,
our hearts knit together by divine love.
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Comments 12
What a difference a year makes. You are finally achieving the happiness you so richly deserve. Those of us who love and admire you share in your happiness.
Thank you so much, Aunt Phyllis. I am so grateful to have reconnected with you.
Wonderful, Renee! I completely relate to this idea of purpose and how it is a key concept in recovery. I do not recall how we became connected but I am so very thankful that we did! You inspire me to push the boundaries of my recovery (mind you, the boundaries were only in my head) and open up to others about it. I too have found nothing but understanding souls out there and would have never believed that. I thank you, my friend!
Your sister in recovery,
Jenny Clark
Jenny–thank you for such encouraging words. You’re so right about those boundaries being only in our heads. I’m happy that you, too, have only received understanding and kindness when sharing your story. And I’m so happy to have connected with you (however we did!)
Renee, Trust, respect, love. You have earned it. You were in the depths, you have have climbed out. Your work is Not finished. You will continue to Encourage your fellow recovery members, and your family, your friends, and “Us”Blog readers. You are Not an Island, you have+learned when t9 confide, Trust in others, You are a fine example of a friend, and a Human being, You will continue to lift others, when the6 need a “lift”. F8nalky, You havecwritten Your Blog will elegance, truth, and from your Heart, God has Bkessed you with your writing talents. Am looking forward to your next Blog. Renee, ‘write on”.❤️TexGen, your Texas Prayer Warrior, And My Wonderful Friend.
TexGen–No, my work isn’t finished. Thank you for such kind words. You are such a gift to me, and your prayers have helped me enormously along my journey. So has your friendship. Thank you.
Just precious, and yes “SURPRISE” indeed when we dare to step across our self imposed boundaries, take that bold leap of faith and know that God will take our hand and hold us we forge ahead into the unknown.
In the responses received you have learned that you are blessing others with what God places on your heart to share. Through it all you have found “purpose”, a mission, and as such realizing a dream that was given to you as a little girl “to become a missionary”. You have, bringing the good news wide and far! And through it all you have found the “beauty of friendship” from so many diverse and beautiful people from all walks of life. How utterly precious and such an answer to prayer, God has been listening closely to your heart and you have received more then you asked for.
Your poem ” Risk and Reward” is such a beautiful analysis of what can and will happen when you take that risk, that leap into the unknown and the rewards that comes along with daring to step forward as you did. Iron indeed sharpens iron and our dull lives are forever changed through the power of God who is there smiling down upon it all and blessing all He has purposed for that moment in time. God never wanted us be Islands on our own, he wants us to be community, in community with each other and Him. He has given us the PERFECT example in living in commune Himself–Father, Son and Spirit, three in ONE. Holy fellowship knitted together through his divine love.
Klara–you just made me aware of another surprise–that all of the boundaries I was hiding behind were self-imposed. So much of life is risk, but even more of it is reward. Thank you for taking that risk with me and being such a source of support and encouragement to me. Much love to you.
How is it possible that every blog post you write is better than the one before? I’m so blessed and proud, humbled and amazed that I GET to call you sister and such a wonderful gift that is. A person could read their bible and then read your post for the day and have had their daily devotion.
And a lot of days, I do! Thank you for speaking to this introvert and probably other introverts today; Again, I leave your blog with new ideas, hope and passion!
Lisa–thank you so, so much. I feel like I’m the one who’s been blessed as we’ve gotten to know each other as adults. You have encouraged me along this journey from day one. Being your sister and your friend makes my life so much more beautiful. I’m excited to see what’s around the corner for both of us! I love you.
Renee – some days when I read your blog, I am certain you wrote it just for me! I’ve gotten to know you as well as my sister and her family in a new and wonderful way. Your words have also deepened my relationship with God. And I am so thankful for that. You have gotten me thru some difficult times this last year and I can’t wait to see what’s next! Love you my sweet niece ?
LoraK–thank you for such a lovely comment. God works in mysterious ways–so maybe some of my posts ARE just for you! I truly have loved getting to know you in an entirely different way. I can’t thank you enough for the way you have supported and encouraged me. I’m looking forward to what’s next, too. I love you so much!