Last spring, I posted a picture on Facebook of the grape hyacinths in our front yard, and a woman named Klara commented on the post. I responded to her, then snooped through her profile to see who she was. I discovered that she was a friend of Monty’s aunt, and that she lived in Canada but was Dutch by birth. This intrigued me; I’ve had a love affair with tulips my whole life and have always wanted to visit the Netherlands to see fields of them. I don’t remember if Klara sent me a friend request or the other way around, but we became friends on Facebook. We shared a few photos of flowers with each other and chatted back and forth. As time passed, we formed a friendship that went much deeper than flowers. We discovered that we had many of the same thoughts and beliefs, and, though we lead very different lives, our sensitive hearts beat much the same.
Klara is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. She’s quirky and funny and lives her life unapologetically. She’s an artist who expresses herself through collages, handmade greeting cards, and sewing. She also makes hand-appliqued quilts that tell deeply felt stories. Having often felt “different” in the course of her own life’s journey, Klara is sensitive to others who don’t necessarily fit societal norms. Instead of judging the “different” people she encounters, Klara gets to know them, loves them, and opens not just her heart but sometimes even her home to them. She is passionate about being a voice for those who don’t have one. As a follower of Christ, she’s equally passionate about showing the love of Jesus to everyone she encounters—the homeless, the drug addicted, the sick, and others who society doesn’t even see. She’s a fiercely protective mother and grandmother. She’s a survivor. And, I’m humbled to say, she’s my friend.
When Klara shared her story with me, I thought it was so impactful that I wanted you to be able to hear it, too. I asked her if she’d be willing to tell her story, and she agreed. This is her testimony, in her own words:
“I am almost 69. For almost 43 of those years I lived in a kind of wilderness, bewildered by the world and bewildered by the feelings I carried within myself. On the outside I appeared strong, independent, determined and able, very involved in a variety of worthy causes, always willing to take on a new challenge. I had 2 beautiful children, a husband, and all seemed well. On the inside I was confused, lonely, and upset by a world that seemed to cater only to its own selfish needs.
I was born in the Netherlands to Christian parents and with my family moved to New Zealand when I was 12 only to move back some 5 years later. While I came from a caring family who taught me many wonderful values (especially my father) I somehow was the odd one out and felt little understood. It often seemed that I was never going to get it right for doing it wrong. Our family attended church together, prayed, and worshiped together, but I never knew Christ. I left the church we attended at 19, feeling there were too many man-made rules and people proposing to love God on a Sunday yet behaving quite the opposite throughout the week. My mother became more displeased with me and eventually I decided the only way out was to move far away from this community and home, which I did, landing in Vancouver, Canada.
I moved around a fair bit, moving back to Europe twice, did as I pleased, had a number of relationships and eventually became a single mother. Somehow I saw this child as the ultimate gift from God. Looking back I realized that God was starting to work within me, as He had done before, but never recognizing it.
Later I married and had another child. It was the oldest child who led me to attend church after questioning me about a church and what it meant. She found out that I had attended church as a child and thought it unfair she had not. A lovely black lady by the name of Christine whom my children really liked suggested a church and as my kids were partially black, I thought that if this lady was accepted there, so would my children. Not just wanting to drop the oldest child and leave, I snuck into the back of the church and found a lady (Jan) preaching. That blew me away. I can’t remember what she said, but I felt touched. I wanted more. I almost ran back out when the next week there turned out to be a male preacher (I could already hear God thunder). Thank God I stayed. Eventually I took the Baptismal class at the end of which I decided not to be baptized. When Bruce, the minister, took me aside and quietly inquired why, we went to his office and talked it over. I explained I was simply not good enough. I smoked, I drank, and had done a whole host of things totally unacceptable to God. He helped me understand that Jesus had specifically come for one like me. I cried, we prayed together and after asking Jesus to forgive me, I asked Him to come into my life. I was baptized. From here on in I hoped my life would change and improve.
My life did change; instead of getting better, it fell to pieces. My youngest child got more ill by the minute, my father whom I loved more than any other person in this world died, my marriage was crumbling, and I got ill. I tried everything. Nothing helped. I went through marriage counseling, grief counseling, saw an endless stream of specialists, doctors, yet no one had an answer. I was losing total control over my life. It was only then, when I was at my most ill point, that I realized there was nothing further I could do. I finally gave up my fight of self-control and placed it in God’s hands. Then and only then began my real journey of faith.
I had to trust God for every minute of my day in all things, including the many moments I thought I would lose all my sanity. I remember not begging, nor pleading, I was far too tired and sick for that. I simply handed my life over to Jesus. I learned much during this time, but most of all I learned that I had no control, no power to change anything by myself. Once I had truly accepted this reality, it was then that I began understanding little by little some of the truths that Jesus wanted to impart in me. He literally took me by the hand and walked beside me day and night, overcoming each fear with me, loving me through each moment of doubt, each scary night and even through the process of the separation from my husband and the subsequent court case that followed. He has been with me ever since. He truly never leaves us or forsakes us no matter what trials we face.
It has not been an easy road. I have learned I truly am a work in progress. Not by my own attempts but in Jesus who works within me, and I am so grateful for God’s love and grace that has set me free. Sometimes when I forget who I am in Jesus, I remind myself of why I love butterflies and why they are all around my little home. I read this analogy in a book of who we are in God:
Before meeting Jesus I was like a caterpillar, earthbound, trying to crawl my way through the dirt, getting frustrated, tired and overwhelmed. Eventually the caterpillar finds a stalk, a leaf, goes into a cocoon and becomes totally immersed. Then an amazing metamorphosis takes place and a new creature appears, a beautiful butterfly. So we too must see ourselves in Jesus. God doesn’t look at us as converted caterpillars. He sees us through the eyes of Jesus, new, clean, and beautiful. His creation. Beautiful butterflies, flying heaven bound. His beloved ones, and that is what we are.
Beautiful people, how do you see yourselves? Are you still like the caterpillar, struggling your way along the earth, overwhelmed and tired of it all, or have you become that beautiful new butterfly, a new creation through the grace, love, and acceptance of God through Jesus?”
“The measure of love is to love without measure.”St. Francis de Sales
Quote and video chosen by Klara. Original artwork in email newsletter and above photo created by Klara. To see the quilts that Klara made and read her story about them, click here.
Klara: “’My Tribute’ is a song that gives all the glory to God–to God indeed all the Glory in all He does for us and in us, and in His plan to open the eyes of the whole world and bring salvation to all mankind.”
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Comments 17
Beautifully written and well deserved tribute to our mutual friend Klara. After reading your earlier blog posts, I knew you and Klara were kindred spirits, and I’m so glad I had a part in bringing you together. Also, a thank you to Harold who introduced me to Klara.
Thank you Phyllis, for your sweet words and for being part in bringing Renee and I together. Renee and I are indeed kindred spirits although we are quite different in many ways. Amazing how much love and appreciation can happen through the facebook medium, I am so grateful for meeting you and Renee in this fashion. I love your posts also, your mother’s heart and your passion for justice.
I think Harold has forgotten how long we know each other–at least four years through a Dutch person I once knew.
Thank you, Aunt Phyllis. Klara and I are indeed kindred spirits, and I’m glad we got to know each other through you. As Klara said, it’s amazing how many friendships happen because of Facebook. Love to you tonight!
Amazing life story and testimony, Klara!
I agree, Monty! I’m so glad that you’ve gotten to know Klara, too. Your garden is going to be amazing because of her!
Thanks Monty, also for helping Renee in putting it all together. I have enjoyed getting to know you in a more personal way through our phone call and in us messaging each other on gardening and other subjects. I feel blessed to know you both as individuals and as a couple.
Nice to meet you Klara. You have a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing, Ruhnee!
Klara–the above comment is from my sister, Heather.
Heather–thank you for reading Klara’s story. She is every bit as amazing and inspiring as she sounds.
Nice to meet you too– can I presume you are Renee’s brother? If not please forgive. Thanks for reading it and enjoying it. I must admit it was bit overwhelming at first but Renee did an awesome job of putting it together with Monty’s expertise help.
Klara is my beautiful younger sister and I am baffeled by and gratefull for her story, written down in ‘Her Tribute’. I now have come to know her even better than I thought I did. Thank you Klara for those beautiful words!
As I go on trough life and as I grow older I have noticed that one thing remains: the word of God, given us in the Bible.
And with the whole world at war (or so it seems) these words came to me this morning from Jeremiah 6 ; 16: “Zo zegt de Heere, ga staan op de weg en zie, vraag naar de al oude paden waar toch de goede weg is en bewandel die. Dan zult gij rust vinden voor uw ziel.”
Love you Klara.
Pia
Dearest Sister of mine, thank you for responding, I love you too. Thank you for God’s word, I re-read it in English–yes let us take the good path and walk in it, that we may have rest for and in our souls. Like you said ” at times it feels like the whole world is at war” and yes we get so very tired trying to fight the good fight. Yet we must remain His soldiers, not only on the defense but also on the offense, but in all of this He gives us His peace, not that of the world where we will have tribulations and trials.
May we be forever reminded that He has overcome the world-“it is finished” was His cry.
I know you have done much to stand as a soldier in the many documentaries you made and how you stood up for what is right, thinking of you with much love.
Pia–that comment by your sister Klara above is exactly why I love her. She is wise and kind and always reminds me where my hope comes from. I’m glad that you got to know her a little bit better by reading her story. I know I did.
What a powerful, heart felt Blog. In reading this, I too am “drawn” to an analogy of Renee,Klara’s and mine friendship. Last fall, in the midst of a family tragedy, that shook my wife Debbie and I “to the core”, I happened to read something a High School, Phyllis had written. No idea why it struck me, but I sent a note to her, I think Phyllis had mentioned “Poetic Blessings”, Found out, her niece, Renee Phillips was the Author of the Blogs. “Snooped a little”, liked what I was reading, Sent a note t9 Renee, complimenting the “truth,power and soul” of her Blog. We soon “friended” on FB, and lo and behold a lady named Klara, sent me a ‘friend request”. So, fast forward to today, we(Renee,Klara and I have become, “The Three Musketeers”. We share similar interests, Flowers,birds, Christian praise Music, yes a passion for Gospel Music, Not going to get “too wordy”,but my measure of r3orct fir Renee and Klara, is enormous, I don’t have enoug( words. They have both kept me on my personal pathto Jesus, when I am doubting, weak, Renee and Klara make me strong. Klara, yes w3 have to “follow our heart”, we have got to do “the right thing”.I look at all of my fellow man, I stop judging, I cobsuder All, “Beautuful People”, a song I love from The 60’s, and also, “Ne Je Ne Regretted Rien”, Sung By “The Little Sparrow”,Edith Piaf. When I am called by God, I will say, LorD love You, I Love Jesus, I am yours, I have no regrets. Kudos, Renee, Klara, I could write more and more, thank you for keeping me, “in step” with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Beautiful Blog………TexGen
Thank you Harold ( Opa), for your kind words. So glad we all met and that together we encourage each other in so many different ways. God did have a plan in us meeting each other, He knew what we needed, and He provided without us even asking. He is an awesome God and to Him be all the glory for all he does in us and for us.
Ps, we met long before that through another Dutch person named Tanja, she is no longer on our radar, so to speak!
Many blessing to you.
Harold–what a sweet story about our friendship! Thank you. I feel privileged to know both you and Klara. God has used both of you in my life in amazing ways, and I’m so grateful He brought us together. You are such a good friend to me. Thank you for once again sharing your heart. I always appreciate your beautiful words.
Thank you Renee, I am humbled by your description of me and that you chose to share my story, in reality God’s story of love for me. And while in many ways I am still such a work in progress, I thank the lord for all He has done in my life so far. To God indeed all the glory for all He has done and is doing, not only in me but in the world that surrounds us. His name is LOVE, pure and simple.
Author
Klara–you are so welcome–thank you for letting me share your story. I’m praying that it reaches all of us who need to hear about God’s love and redemption. I’m so very grateful to be your friend.