When you read this, Valentine’s Day will be over. Some of you will be glad. I know that there are people who hate Valentine’s Day, either because they’re single or they feel like the holiday is simply a commercial holiday, meant to sell greeting cards and flowers. And then there are people like my mom, who absolutely love Valentine’s Day. Mom celebrates it with Dad, her family, her friends—she wears clothes with hearts on them, she passes out Valentine treats to her choir, and she always has a Valentine’s party for her Bible study ladies.
Me? I love Valentine’s Day because of my Valentine, Monty. And I adore candy hearts—I especially enjoy it when I can find a label that still calls them “conversation hearts.” I remember Mom helping me to make Valentines for our kindergarten class party; we put a couple of candy hearts into each Valentine. I don’t remember having seen candy hearts before that day. I do remember that when I saw them, it was like meeting a soul mate—there were words on this candy! I would have preferred to not make Valentines—to just sit and read the little messages on the hearts instead. I told Mom, as we sat at the kitchen table making Valentines, that when I grew up, I wanted to be the person who wrote messages on candy hearts. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but candy hearts are still a big reason that I love Valentine’s Day.
My history with Valentine’s Day has not always been so rosy. I hated it in junior high. At our school, the cheerleaders had a fundraiser every year where they sold roses to other students, and boys would buy them for the girls they liked. So every year, on the afternoon of Valentine’s Day, the cheerleaders, all decked out in their adorable little uniforms, would go from classroom to classroom, calling out names. My sisters’ names were always called. Heather, especially, would have an armload of roses. My name was never called, and I would sit at my desk feeling embarrassed and rejected. In ninth grade, I steeled myself for that same embarrassment when, wonder of wonders, my name was called. I brought that pink rose back to my desk and read the card: “Don’t forget I love you. Love, Mom.”
This morning, I was filling a dish with candy hearts, and I saw a pale green one that said, “Love you.” Normally, that would have made me think of Monty or of my family. But for some reason, this morning, I felt like God was giving me that message: “Love you.” I looked at that little green heart and smiled. God often speaks to me in unconventional ways, so if He wanted me to hear Him speak through conversation hearts, I was definitely going to listen. I knew God was saying the same thing my mom had said so many years ago: “Hey, Renee. Don’t forget I love you.” I needed that message; I needed to be reminded of God’s love—His pure, unfailing love that asks nothing of me. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 43:4 which says, “Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” God loves me—so much that He calls me precious.
I set that candy heart down separate from the others and thought, “Ok, God. What else do You want to say?” I closed my eyes to make sure my choice was random, and I ended up picking a lavender heart that said, “Miss you.” Ooh. That one was like a shot through my heart—because I have been spending less time with God lately. I always have a million excuses for why I can’t sit down and just be with God. I stared at that lavender heart and tears filled my eyes. Could that actually be true? Could God miss me? And a verse immediately came to mind: “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17) God loves me, yes, but this verse says that He also delights in me and rejoices over me. Me. I thought about the people I love, who I delight in, and I thought about how much I’d miss them if they simply got too busy to spend time with me. And I asked God to forgive my cavalier attitude about taking time to be with Him.
I put the lavender heart with the green one, closed my eyes, and picked one more. The little white heart that I picked said, “For you.” My heart swelled with such gratitude. There are so many things that God does for me. I can look around right now and count four of His gifts to me—our boys and my Monty. God shares other special moments with me, too—moments where I can almost hear Him saying, “This is for you, Renee.” Sometimes, when it feels like everyone in our little town is asleep, I’ll look up through our kitchen window and see a tiny sliver of a moon. For you. Seamus will curl up next to me on my pillow when I have a migraine. For you. Monty walks in the front door with a smile on his face. For you. Mackin pushes the blinds open, and I see the kind of sunrise artists long for. For you.
I saved those three little conversation hearts. Maybe I’ll put them with the dried roses, corsages, and love notes from Monty that I’ve saved for 27 years. Yet these three hearts are so much more precious to me than any other tokens of love because they remind me of the enormity of God’s love, His desire for my company, and the special ways He shows me He loves me. I wish I could write Him a message on a candy heart. But I know He can read this message for Him written on my heart: I love you, too. I’ve missed you, too. And thank you—for all of it.
“God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.”Augustine
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Wow, wonderful post Renee–except you kind of borrowed my verse, remember! Isaiah 43:4 is my verse, the verse given to me when I got baptised and one that is written on my heart and one I give to all I meet whether they know God or not.
That said, I love your little heart experiment, I would have done the same had I had the candy. God gives each of us unusual ways to help get through to him. Glad He gave you the inspiration to try this experiment and that it made total sense to you. God as the greatest creative artist sure has His way to get through to us, His mini creative projects.
Thank you so much, dear Klara. I did think of you when that verse came to mind! To me, it’s just pure poetry and always soothes my soul when life gets turbulent. The candy hearts did make total sense to me, as you said, but I was a little concerned that I might sound kind of nutty if I wrote about it. Clearly, I took the risk! Thank you for the reminder that God is “the greatest creative artist.” That’s so beautiful.
Awesome post help me remember that my Heavenly Father loves me, will always remember this post when I see the little candy heats, they have two special means now, Gods love and the love of my wife, thank you for the post!
Thank you, Grover. I’m so humbled and blessed by your words. I, too, always need that reminder that my Heavenly Father loves me. Thank you for once again reading and sharing your thoughts. I so appreciate you.
Renee, Wonderful Thoughtful Blog. Candy Hearts, Love ‘em, have not thought about them in a long time. Memories of exchanging them, with handmade Greeting cards, in elementary school. Valentine’s Day, for me, well having enough of an allowance to buy a Stuffed Animal for someone I cared about. Sounds like your Mom was “all in” on Valent8nes Day, what a wonderful memory. Not too much celebrating in our home. My socia” activities, parties, dances. Having a new girlfriend, each year. Wow, am sounding really conceited. Sorry. But, what I lose track of, and you remind me, is our God. God never sends greeting cards, or candy hearts. But, He is always there. What a comfort, yes, Whatba Friend We Have In Jesus. If we are in pain, He isa pain taker. If we are in Chains. He is a Chain .Breaker Thank you, Zach Williams. Finally, Dear God, I just called, to say Thank You, for being there, for Loving Me.Thank you for My Valentine, Debbie, and our children. Finally, thank you, Renee, for coming in to my life, thru Phyllis.❤️
Thank you, Hal, for sharing your thoughts. You don’t sound conceited; you sound like you’re remembering some very happy times. Thank you for reminding me of that Zack Williams song; since I read your comment, it’s been stuck in my head–which is great! I like your love note to God. And I do thank Him, too, for using Aunt Phyllis to “introduce us.”
http://listserv.linguistlist.org/pipermail/ads-l/2004-May/038125.html
Southern polite slang … You can expand as desired.
Steve, you have educated me and made me smile–and both of those are favorites of mine! Thank you.
Glad to drag a smile out of you!
It might even have been a small laugh. . .
So so very sweet!!
There is God’s love in the eyes of the true loves of ones life. When you see them in whatever form that soul can animate it is a very beautiful thing.
For me I am one happy son of a biscuit eater that I have my wife our dogs and Joans daughter in my life. Proves to me gods love shines through our loved ones!
Some say commercialism created Valentine’s day. I think it was created by God for a reflecting day for everyone!
Steve–thank you for such beautiful thoughts. “God’s love shines through our loved ones”–yes, definitely! Your description of Valentine’s Day as a day for reflecting about love is perfect. That’s definitely what I’ve done all day. And thank you for the smile–I’ve never heard the phrase “son of a biscuit eater,” but I like it! Thank you for always reading my words with such thoughtfulness.