Monty has come down with Olympic fever. Ever since I’ve known him, Monty has loved the Olympics. He prints out a schedule of all of the events, then goes through it with a highlighter and sets the DVR accordingly. He loves the spirit of competition, but even more so, he loves it when the world comes together for something positive. With the Olympics starting tomorrow, Monty’s excitement has reached a fever pitch.
Last fall, Monty’s love of the Olympics and my love of “Dancing with the Stars” came together. One of the contestants on “Dancing with the Stars” was 23-year-old Victoria Arlen, a Paralympic athlete. When Victoria was eleven, she developed a rare illness that caused inflammation of her spinal cord and brain. Within days of the first signs of illness, Victoria slipped into a vegetative state. Two years later, Victoria began to experience “locked in syndrome,” meaning she could see and hear everything that went on around her but was “locked” in her own body, unable to communicate. She heard doctors tell her parents that she would not survive, and if she did, she would certainly never walk again. But she did survive, and in 2010, four years after she got sick, she began to relearn how to eat, speak, and move.
Victoria—during her illness.
She found freedom from her wheelchair in the swimming pool, where she excelled. Just two years after she came out of her vegetative state, she won one gold medal and three silver medals in swimming at the 2012 Summer Paralympics in London. And in 2016, after ten years of being paralyzed from the waist down, Victoria began to walk. She still has no feeling in her legs, but with the help of leg braces and countless hours of physical therapy, she can walk. And she can dance—she joined the cast of “Dancing with the Stars” in the fall of 2017 and danced her way clear to the semifinals.
In the fifth chapter of John, there’s a story about another paralyzed person—a man who had been paralyzed for thirty-eight years. Along with many other invalids, this man spent his days at the pool of Bethesda. Bethesda, meaning “House of Mercy,” is where many invalids gathered, hoping that the waters there would heal them. One day, the man who’d been paralyzed for thirty-eight years met Jesus:
“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, He asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?’ ‘Sir,’ the invalid replied, ‘I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.’ Then Jesus said to him, ‘Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.” (John 5:6-9)
Before Jesus healed the man, He asked him if he wanted to get well. I would guess that everyone within earshot at Bethesda that day would have thought that this was an absurd question. Who wouldn’t want to be healed? My answer? Many of us. We say we want to get better, that our physical or emotional pain is intolerable—yet deep down inside, we’re afraid of healing. Living in daily pain and suffering is miserable, but it’s also familiar. We tend to think that if we’re healed, God might require something more from us. Most of us have to hit rock bottom in order to finally decide to change—to have our souls cry out to Jesus, “Yes! I do want to get well! Please heal me. I can’t live like this anymore!”
Bethesda.
When Jesus asked the man at Bethesda if he wanted to get well, the man made an excuse about not being able to get to the pool. I think Jesus probably looked into his eyes with enormous compassion, seeing the man’s desire for healing and his fear of healing. I imagine that a world of understanding passed between them in that moment, as the man thought, I want to get better. But I don’t know another way to live. I’ve been like this my whole life. I’m scared. Did Jesus see that, and without even speaking, let the man know that he understood? Did the man see an answer in the eyes of Jesus? I know you’re scared. I know you have questions. But aren’t you tired of lying around this pool every day, living as an invalid? I have so much more for you. Now get up and walk.
I know Jesus has heard a million excuses from me: I’m not strong enough. There’s someone out there who can do a way better job at this than I can. My past is filled with mistakes and bad decisions. I’m too broken. Jesus has heard all of this, and still, He’s said, “Renee, get up and walk.” When I hit my own rock bottom, He enabled me to move in the direction of healing. In the context of addiction, the word “enable” is negative: if you’re enabling someone, you’re helping them to stay in the sickness of their addiction. It has come to mean something entirely different to me. Habakkuk 3:19 says, “The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” Every moment of every day, I have to depend on God to enable me to do things I never thought I could. For me, those things are “the heights” mentioned in that verse. “The heights” are different for all of us. Walking is easy for me; Victoria Arlen needed God to enable her to do it. Staying clean and sober might be easy for you, but I have to depend on God to enable me to do that every day. And He does. Again and again, He does. He leads me to the heights and beyond what I ever could have done on my own.
When you’re truly ready for healing—when you’re ready to stop making your pain and illness your identity—God will heal you. He might not do it in the way you expect. He might not cure your pain, free you from your wheelchair, or immediately lift you out of the behaviors that are making you sick. But He will heal you. And He will use you. Even if you’re making excuses the whole time. God can and does use people who’ve been wounded and scarred by life—people like Victoria. People like me. I’m no longer an invalid, lying around my own metaphorical pool of Bethesda, wishing that I wasn’t IN-valid. I’m a person who, like Victoria and the man at Bethesda, was broken by life and is fighting every day to regain what I lost. And every day, God enables me to do that. Imagine the heights He could enable you to walk on when you stop making excuses and choose to get well. The beauty of finally being able to walk on the heights is its own reward—your own personal kind of gold medal. Walk with God towards that medal. And before you know it, you’ll be dancing.
“I made a promise to God. If You give me this second chance at life, I promise You I will not waste a single moment.”Victoria Arlen
Victoria—dancing:
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Comments 6
Beautifully written and expressed Renee. I think the key word for many of us is ” Familiar”. It takes courage to go from familiar to unfamiliar, courage to take us to the unknown even if it is enticing. Who does not want to get better or improve? But that said, it also has its risks in a variety of ways. It means letting to go of our past, tread new territories, perhaps even losing sympathies once afforded to us because of our condition and so on. It is also important to understand that God may not do it as you expect, the outcome being different then you wish for.
You also mentioned ” the heights are different for all of us.” To me that touched a snare, not so much in my own life but that off another young woman at the time God asked me to step alongside!
One day I received a call from my then pastor regarding a person and an incident. There was a young woman from Korea that had come here to learn English and was jogging at Stanley park with her ear phones on when she was suddenly attacked from behind and the cords of her ear phones were pulled around her neck and cut of the oxygen to her brain. Her mother was in Korea and I was asked to visit her in the hospital and step alongside. She had been a vibrant young woman learning her 6th new language and now she was in hospital, unknown if she would make it. When I got close to the room I could only here the loud wailing from her room. She was immobilized, could no longer talk, walk, see properly and had no idea what had happened, she was breathing from a tube and also had a tube inserted to help her feed. I stepped alongside her and eventually her mother and later her brother arrived fro m Korea. She also was trapped in her body, totally aware of her inabilities yet totally incapable to verbalize what she was feeling and or understand what had happened to put her in this position. She was also the first and only Christian in her family. Long story short, there was little I could do to help, but I was able to sooth her emotions and I was able to calm her down when no one could. I was with her for almost 3 years. She was eventually granted Canadian status as the assault was done by a Canadian. Had she been transported back to Korea, her life would have been worth nothing according to Buddhist beliefs.
I used to give her butterfly kisses, which delighted her (my eyelashes touching her cheeks) and massages which calmed both her person and her muscles. Much later she was taught to utter some words and to my surprise she whispered these words to me “I love you”. Jiwon never got better, yet she is still alive and well, the many prayers were never answered even though many miracles exist when it comes to brain injury. There are 3 thoughts to brain injury–1 miracles happen, 2 all stays the same, 3 sometimes another part of the brain is actually able to take over certain functions. In Jiwon’s case none happened but the miracle lies in the fact that her mother and brother started believing because of her. In Korea she would have been cast out and her life would have ended, here in Canada she receives appropriate care around the clock, is being supported by our universal health care system and her mother receives monthly benefits to be able to support her daughter.
The miracle healing has come in a different way, yet it is a healing of a different nature. Jiwon was told about what happened to her as the case went to court and she had to testify through her presence even as she could not speak and or move her body, yet once she learned what happend to her and she was able to comprehend the why’s and what’s, she accepted it did happen and has made a new life as is.
There is a miracle in living and Jiwon is proof of this in so many ways for me. And yes her story still makes me cry but I also know god is with her and for her!
Klara–what an amazing story about Jiwon. Your heart is so big! This is the perfect example of God’s provision and healing–just not in ways we would expect. How incredible that Jiwon’s mom and brother became believers because of her. God uses us no matter what our cirucumstances our. He used Jiwon–and He used you in Jiwon’s life. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
Another perfect post! Very thought provoking abd interesting and love the back story of Victoria.
P.s. Olympic Time is here!!!
Thank you, my Monty. Your support is so important to me. On to the Olympics!
Another excellent blog, Renee. I like Monty, have,always anticipated the Olympics, Summer and Winter games. All Athlete’s, In The best shape of their lives. Always hope for total U.S. “sweeps”, But, I admire and appreciate All,Participants. Victoria Arlen’s Story is so Heart warming, such a Beautiful and Triumphant conclusion on “Dancing with The Stars”. With God’s Help, Victoria’s determination, “mission accomplished”. It feels so good to read and see her “triumph”.;Jesus saw in the Man’s eyes, he wanted to be healed, But was afraid. We, as Man, have “Man Made Disabilities” But, we make excuses for not really wanting to be healed. I have a large portion of my own life, being envious, lusting either for one thing or another. In spite of “my wicked ways,God has shown me there is a “Door to Salvation”, all I have to is “open it””.The Devilmas says, o( not today”. But, I am finally opening My Door to Peace and Salvation, Praise God, Thank you,Jesus. Finally, Renee thank you, again.
Thank you so much, Harold. Monty is watching Olympic skiing as I write this! You said Victoria was “triumphant”–perfect word. I am joining you in opening that door to peace. Thank you for being such a faithful reader and supporter of my blog.