I have a confession to make that’s going to make me sound like a terrible person. I’m going to share it anyway at the risk of sounding judgmental, self-righteous, and downright stupid. Here’s my confession: I have been all of those things. I have judged people. I have considered myself to be better than other people. And I have made stupid assumptions about people—all because I’m a Christian.
My excuses for being judgmental and small-minded were good, I thought: I wasn’t raised like that. I don’t know people like that. My world is small, and I’ve never been exposed to different kinds of people. And then the tables turned. My big secrets were out, and so were the labels: addict. Alcoholic. And I felt judged. But I still justified my behavior to myself. I wasn’t as much of a junkie or a drunk as other people: my drugs were prescription drugs, not street. I didn’t party. I drank at home. I never got arrested. So I’d think, when I felt judged for my behavior, Save your judgment for a person who needs it. Because there are way worse people out there than me.
Then one night, I went to my first recovery meeting. And I met people from every conceivable walk of life—all who called themselves Christians. They listened to me talk when I finally mustered up the courage to tell my story, and no one judged me. They’d been where I was. They understood every single issue I had because they’d had them, too. No one flinched when I talked about the massive amount of drugs I’d been taking. No one looked at me in disgust when I said that I’d gone from being an addict to an alcoholic. No one judged me. And at the end of the meeting, when we held hands and said the Lord’s Prayer, I felt God move among us—His power pulsing in our hands, from one of us to the next.
Slowly but surely, over the next couple of months, I got to know these people. I heard their stories. I celebrated sobriety markers with them. We laughed together and shared our experiences. And these people became my dear friends—despite our very different lives. They prayed with me and for me. And in that space of grace, I felt the love of Jesus. Having people care about me like that—people I would never have met otherwise—changed me. They didn’t judge me; I don’t judge them. How could I? I’m there for the same reason they are.
My evolution from self-appointed judge of all things Christian to a person who wore the same labels and bore the same scars as my friends in recovery didn’t take long. I learned from them to care about people’s hearts, not their pasts—because my friends did that for me. Their kindness and love and acceptance were the most Christian acts I’d ever experienced. And because of that, I got sober. In recovery, we use the principle of attraction: we try to shine brightly for those still suffering. We let them know we’re there if they need us. We want them to see the joy in sobriety that we have and decide it’s something they want.
I think Christianity should work the same way—people should see our joy and decide they want that, too. Unfortunately, many people are actually repelled by the word “Christian.” They’ve been judged by Christians and found wanting. They’ve been labelled. They’ve been considered outcasts. So have I—and I am a Christian. We as Christians—true believers who wear the label of followers of Christ—should embrace the lost and the suffering, not judge them by their appearance, their pasts, or the way they choose to live their lives. How can we tell people that Jesus loves them if we’re afraid to love?
If we’re going to call ourselves Christians, then we need to be walking examples of Christ—accepting, loving, and nonjudgmental. Our best example of this is Jesus Himself. He deliberately sought out the type of people that we would all probably judge if they showed up at our churches. Jesus chose men with violent pasts, short tempers, criminal behavior, and rough edges to be His disciples. He loved those men simply because He loves. And He chose them not in spite of who they were but because of who they were.
So who I am to judge, if Jesus didn’t? I have so many issues of my own that I need to work on. I have no business worrying about other people’s behavior. And despite what I used to believe, Jesus doesn’t have a measuring system for sin. Lying, stealing, idolatry (for me, this means addiction: putting another substance where only God belongs)—they’re all sins. None are better. None are worse. Romans 3:23 says it best: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Every single one of us falls short. You. Me. The people you see in church and the people you see on the street—we all fall short.
I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a recovering Christian, but if there is, I’d like to be one. I’d like to tell everyone, much like we do in recovery, “I’m Renee, and I’m a Christian. I’m recovering from being judgmental and pious. I want to love people from all walks of life, and by loving and accepting them, I want to draw them to Christ.” To me, that’s what being a Christian is: living in Christ’s grace and love, and wanting others to experience that, too. If I identify myself as a Christian, then I’d better act like it—because I bear the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. People watch us Christians closely. I don’t want to give them a reason to run; I want to attract them to the beautiful hope I’ve found—in Christ’s name.
The next time you see a person who’s struggling, addicted, or soul-sick, try to see them through Jesus’ eyes. All of us need His love. All of us need a Savior. What a tragedy if some never experienced that love and redemption because of our judgment. I work every day at opening my eyes to people who need Jesus, and opening my heart to show them His love. My recovery group did that for me and changed the entire trajectory of my life. My greatest hope, as a Christian in every sense of the word, is to do the same for others. This world has never needed the love of Jesus more than they do now. He loves us all. Shouldn’t we do the same?
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”John 13:34-35
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Comments 17
Renee, I re-read this piece, today. I want, And I will be a recovering Christian. Your words have power, power to keep me on this path. Thank you again. Hal
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Thank you, Hal. I want to be a recovering Christian, too–so I’m on the same path as you.
“. . . should embrace the lost and the suffering . . . How can we tell people that Jesus loves them if we’re afraid to love?” Such beautiful words, and a beautiful perspective. Sometimes it hurts to love. People disappoint us, they stumble a lot, but to not give up on them until Jesus says it is time to give up — that is my prayer concerning each individual I know. My vision is short, but God’s is eternal. Thank you, Renee.
Thanks so much, Heather. It often does hurt to love–because, as you said, people can disappoint us. God doesn’t. Thank you for your words.
Renee, so well stated. Perhaps I am already a recovering Christian? I was raised in a strict legalistic church and walked out when I was about eighteen or nineteen after calling them all a bunch of hypocrites, vowing never to step foot in any church again. I only ever knew a harsh God, no sweet or loving Jesus. Many, many years later my small daughter wanted to know what a church was and I found one that was said to have great children’s programs. It was her desire to know about church that led me to Jesus and being baptised again, this time in full immersion. I have finally learned that there is a God of love and all He ever wants me to do is share this LOVE, end of story. I tend not to use the terms religion and or Christian as there is so much attached to these terms, both from the past and also the present. I follow a person and His name is Jesus who is also very God Himself. The church I attend happens to be a Baptist one, but it does not matter to me, all that maters is that God showed Himself to me as a God of LOVE for all.God used my child to call me back while this child never goes to Church nor believes as far as I know. I just know God has a plan at all times!
Oh, Klara–your testimony amazes me again and again. How beautiful that God used your daughter’s curiosity to bring you back to Him. I have to tell you, when I was writing this, I thought about you–and your heart for the lost, the lonely, the addicted. You show God’s love because YOU love. And that’s what I want to be like. The labels–Baptist, Christian–whatever–are unimportant, especially if they keep people from actually knowing God. The love is important, and I see you sharing that everywhere. If ever there was a bright light shining to draw people to Jesus, it’s you. I learn so much from you and am so grateful that you are my friend. Hugs and love to you tonight.
Thanks Renee, I have sinned much and still sin, if God can look at me with eyes of love, than I must do the same. No matter who you are God loves you and I have no business to preach to anyone. All I ever hear God say is LOVE THEM, for My name and for My sake, period, end of story.I was as anti Christian as they come due to my own past and what I felt,now I know different but refuse to throw anything at anyone but Love even as it despises some that I am a follower of Jesus. I took my two granddaughters to church–Thea is used to coming occasionally but Zoe had never been, it was Her special request to take her to church, and I got into trouble after from her dad? I phoned them the night before to ask permission but got no answer. The next day, after church I got a message I should not have done so, but my God had a reason, this I know. Little Zoe is different and when she spend 3 days with me, she was having night mares so I told her out loud that angels were watching over her wing-tip to wing-tip and I believe she wanted to go to church to feel the angels? Zoe is very different and when she was small she was in my home and never said a word all day but continually stared at 2 wee angels on my sill and I knew she wanted to touch them, so I told her to take one–she promptly went to the other one and took it too. Her mama said, no Zoe, only one, to which I replied, she may take both, she obviously feels safe with them. She took one home and took it every where with her. God at work in most unusual ways!
You see— so many stories, so many ways God works, shows Himself, and is busy making all feel safe in His own way! The question is always whether I am listening?
Beautiful story. I just love that you gave Zoe the angels, and she took them everywhere with her. And I love that they made her feel safe. That’s all I ever wanted as a little girl–to feel safe. And you took her to church–I love that. I need to start asking myself if I am listening–because you’re right; God reveals Himself to people in unique ways. Even little girls like Zoe. Thank you, Klara, for adding so much wisdom to my posts.
Renee–I never felt safe when small, my nightmares were daily and I was so afraid of the dark, you have no idea the daily fear that invaded me when I had to go to bed. My nightmares still come occasionally but I too place angels all around and about me–facing outward and keeping me safe when I sleep. I understand Zoe so well.I believe Zoe has been gifted to me!
So well stated, thank you!
Thank you so much, Grover.
“I’m Monty, and I’m a Christian. I’m recovering from being judgmental and pious. I want to love people from all walks of life, and by loving and accepting them, I want to draw them to Christ.”
Monty–I’ve never known you to be any of those things. You are, however, loving and accepting. Thank you for all you’ve taught me about that.
This is so beautiful, Renee!!! Thank you for sharing your sweet soul ❤️
Thank you so much, Jula–for reading and commenting. I so appreciate it.
Renee, your words “hit home”. I want to be a recovering Christian. I would like to share some of my thoughts with you. Please let me know if email, or Facebook Messenger should “our” line of dialogue, Todays Poetic Blessings Is. Harold (Hal) Butt. God Bless You.
Hal, that means so much to me. Thank you for reading this. Feel free to email me any time–or use Messenger.