When I saw the movie “Moonstruck” as a teenager, I fell in love with opera. “Moonstruck,” in short, is about mismatched lovers, the effect of the moon on said lovers, and the opera. In the movie, when the character played by Cher is watching “La Bohème,” she is moved to tears when the most beautiful aria in the opera is sung. After I saw this movie, I determined that I would go to the opera someday—and not just any opera, but “La Bohème.” I bought a cassette tape of it and listened to it endlessly. I also bought a framed poster of an advertisement for “La Bohème.”
And then . . . about five years into my addiction, I looked up at that poster hanging on the wall in my office, and I hated it. It represented every dream I’d given up, every opportunity I’d missed, every beautiful experience that I had wanted for myself and now knew I would never have. I took the poster off the wall and stuck it in a box in the basement. That seemed a fitting place for it—and for the rest of the dreams I once had—buried in the basement in an old cardboard box.
Then this summer, Mom and I were talking about “Moonstruck,” and I mentioned that it was one of my favorite movies. Monty heard me and asked why he’d never known that or even seen the movie. I told him that the reason was because it was too painful—the movie I used to love now represented the death of a dream–to see “La Bohème” performed in an opera house someday. A week later, Monty went to pick up our mail, and he handed me an envelope addressed to me with “The Ellie Caulkins Opera House” in Denver as the return address. When I opened it, there were two tickets inside—for “La Bohème.” Monty told me that he was taking me to the opera—and that the tickets were meant to be a symbol, as well—that it was time for me to start dreaming again.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.Psalm 37:4
And so I am. I’m dreaming of travel, of better health, of writing, of so many beautiful things—and I’m praying about all of it. I think sometimes I’m still unsure about approaching God and asking Him for more—for more fulfilled dreams, for more answers to prayer. I look around at all He’s given me, and I think, “Do I dare ask for more?” I’m reminded of the scene in the movie “Oliver” when Oliver is eating his gruel with the other orphans. He’s had his portion, but he’s still hungry. Tentatively, he approaches the server and asks if he can have more. The server is incredulous—how dare this waif ask for more when he’s already had his allotment of gruel? He calls for reinforcements, and the tale of Oliver asking for more is retold. The man hearing it roars, “MORE? Do I understand that he asked for MORE after eating his supper?”
I used to see my prayer life this way—me praying and asking God for MORE despite all that He’s given me. And in my mind’s eye, I pictured angels scurrying off to tell God about this greedy woman who already had so much—but dared to ask for MORE. I imagined the heavens shaking as God replied, “MORE? Am I to understand that Renee has asked for MORE after all that I’ve already given her?”
I don’t see it this way anymore. I’ve learned way too much about my God to think that he would begrudge me a prayer for anything. In fact, I think God wants us to come to Him hungry for MORE—for more of Him, for more fulfilled dreams. He never meant for us to settle for “enough”—so when we pray and ask for MORE, I think it delights Him. He doesn’t always give it to us; sometimes we have to wait for it; other times, MORE rains downs on us like showers of blessings.
What’s your biggest dream right now? Maybe you dream of a life partner, of children, of better health. Or maybe it’s a dream so precious to you and so close to your heart that you haven’t even dared to give voice to it yet. Tell God about your dream—and ask Him to bring it to fruition. Boldly bring your little Oliver-sized “bowl” to God and ask Him to fill it, saying, “Please, God—I want some MORE!” My history with God tells me that He’ll pick up His divine ladle and fill that bowl to overflowing—with His love, His grace, and the deepest desires of your heart. And speaking of heart’s desires—when Monty and I go to “La Bohème,” I think I’ll buy a new poster for my office wall—just to remind myself that when I ask Him, God always gives me MORE.
“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. . . “
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Beautifully written and expressed. I do not have memories like these due to the nature of my upbringing and do not share your love for opera, but I have songs in my heart that I need to go back to over and over again and why they were so important to me. And— I know we can ask so much more from our heavenly Father even if we might think that we do not deserve it, we do, we need only ask Him and He will give us that which He knows we need. Many times He gives what we have not asked for, simply because He knows beforehand that would help us cope and travel forward. Only in hindsight can we see His hand of mercy at work behind the scenes. A good friend called James once gave me this quote ‘ Coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous’. I love this as it is so true. Blessings to your sweet husband for this gift of going to the opera together.
Klara, you always add so much to my own thoughts. I especially like this: “Only in hindsight can we see His hand of mercy at work behind the scenes.” So true. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
Thank you, my Monty. Especially for helping me to learn to dream again.
You inspire me by your writing and have given me so much to think about.
You keep knocking it out of the park, Renee. Your messages are truly an inspiration. I’m sure La Boheme will exceed your expectations. I was introduced to opera 57 years ago in my college freshman music class, and it was La Boheme we listened to.
Thank you so much, Aunt Phyllis–your words are such an encouragement to me. I can’t wait to see “La Boheme!” Thank you for taking the time to comment.
That whole post is so beautiful, Renee, that I couldn’t help letting the tears come. I think we hesitate to ask for more because we are so limited in what we can do even for those we love the most, and when one of them asks for more, sometimes it brings fear and a sense of failure because we can’t fulfill the desire. It takes us a while, doesn’t it, to learn that our Father really does love us, and really does want to give life that is abundant in His eyes. Praise God for Monty and his beautiful heart, and for your willingness to receive.
Yes! It has taken me a while to learn that God wants to love us and fill our lives with abundance. He has certainly used Monty to show me that! Thank you so much for your words and for taking the time to comment.
Another beautiful post and filled with so much wisdom. And how blessed are you to go to the opera!!!!!
By the way, you have an amazing memory of your childhood! I don’t remember specifics as well as you do so it’s fun to read about them here as sometimes I enter into your writing! Love you, Frister (as Heather says)
Thank you, Lisa. I am both blessed and cursed with the memory of an elephant! Love you, too, my Frister, and can’t thank you enough for your support.